Monday, December 30, 2013

Giving Adjectives and Adverbs the Boot!

Not all parts of speech are equal. Nouns and verbs are noble, upstanding and good. Adjectives and adverbs can be bad. Writing that contains a lot of those two lower forms of speech can be very, very bad. Notice that even I lard on the adjectives from time to time.

Adverbs, often objects of scorn, are the words that modify verbs, adjectives and other adverbs, the ones that usually end with the letters "ly." They usually answer the questions ''When?'' ''Where?'' ''How?'' How often?'' and ''How many?'' Adjectives are not quite as bad as adverbs; however, when adjectives appear in writing in great number, they cause it to resemble a lawn that is overrun with dandelions. Adjectives are words that tell ''How many?'' ''What kind?'' ''Which one?'' and ''What size, color or shape?'' Sure, we all use them from time to time. Better writers use them sparingly.

Mark Twain called the use of the adverb a ''plague.'' Graham Greene called adverbs ''beastly.'' Stephen King wrote, ''I believe the road to hell is paved with adverbs, and I will shout it from the rooftops.'' He wrote that writers use adverbs out of fear and timidity. In part he was referring to writers who use words like ''usually,'' ''nearly,'' and ''almost.'' He is correct. (I could have written, He is absolutely correct, but what good would using the adverb ''absolutely'' have served? None at all.) Strunk and White held nothing back when venting their vitriol about useless qualifiers, calling them ''the leeches that infest the pond of prose, sucking the blood of words.''

The trouble with Adjectives and Adverbs.

Here are four things that go wrong with writing when it is dependent on adjectives and adjectives.

1.They make the writing sound pushy. Example: ''The quick acting medicine quietly rushes to your bloodstream.'' It makes writing sound as though the reader is editorializing, pushing a point of view or spinning hyperbole.

2. They tell, thereby cheating the reader of imagining a scene for him or herself.

As John Barth writes in Lost in the Funhouse, ''to write that [a character] is pretty is to accomplish nothing; the reader may acknowledge the proposition, but his imagination is not engaged.''

By way of explanation, decide which of these two sentences you prefer?

Sentence #1: He whispered to her lovingly.

Sentence #2: He whispered words of love, my sweet, my lover, my angel.

The first sentence uses the adverb, ''lovingly'' to get across its meaning. The second uses only a single verb and a number of nouns.

The first sentence tells; the second one shows.

The first sentence sums up for you what was said. The narrator decides the tone behind the whispering. He calls it loving in nature.

The second sentence shows. It lets the reader hear the words whispered.

Another difference: In the first sentence, the reader gets the distinct impression the narrator is pre-sold on his love. The second sentence leaves room for interpretation because it focuses only on behavior, on the words actually said. Sure, he is saying those words, but could he be insincere? Could be saying one thing but feeling another? Of course he could. I find that in fiction writing adverbs diminish character development. They also take the fun out of reading.

3. They come from fear or timidity. Example: '''Drop that gun,' he said courageously.'' Does the writer of that sentence feel a need to use the adverb ''courageously'' because he or she is afraid the reader won't understand the courage it took the person to say that? Far better to write a scene that shows that the speaker had to be courageous when he said those words. Edit the sentence, '''Drop that gun,' he said."

4. They come from a lack of imagination, laziness, or an unwillingness to immerse oneself in a scene and describe what is said or imagined. Example: ''He whispered to her lovingly'' (discussed above.)

As Richard Noble wrote in an article, ''Don't use adjectives and adverbs to pretty up your prose:'' A few adjectives are okay when carefully chosen. He gives the example: ''The house had an empty feeling to it, the air stale with undefined kitchen odors.'' [He is saying that that sentence is okay, and I agree with him.]

As Noble writes: ''This is tight, dramatic description. But what happens when I add more adjectives to 'prettify' it?

''The dark, dreary house had an empty, suspicious feel to it, the thick air stale and sour with undefined, scary kitchen odors.''

Adding adjectives doesn't make it better. It makes it worse, unreadable, in fact. It gives it that same pushy feeling that adverbs give, a sense that a bill of goods is being foisted on the reader.

Four methods to fix them for good.

1.Turn an adjective into a verb. Instead of writing ''The carriage drove along the bumpy road,'' write, ''The carriage bumped along the road.''

2. Use a metaphor or simile instead of summing it up for the reader with an adverb or adjective. Instead of writing, ''The building began to shake horribly,'' write, ''The building began to shake like a washing machine on spin cycle with a off-balance load.''

3.Be more specific in your use of words. Instead of writing a ''big house,'' use the word ''mansion.''

4.Write a separate sentence instead of loading your nouns up with adjectives or adverbs. Instead of writing, ''The smart fox quickly changed direction and jumped over the high fence,'' write, ''The fox changed direction so quickly, many of the people watching it lost track of where it was; finally, it jumped over a fence that was so high many horses could not clear it.'' The word ''smart'' can be dropped; it's obvious. This kind of writing requires more words, but it is also more readable because it paints a picture that helps the reader see what is happening.

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Because Words Matter and Writing is Important

The commemoration in Dallas of the fiftieth anniversary of the assassination of President John F. Kennedy reminded me of why I became a Peace Corps Volunteer after I graduated from college, and why today I am a writer.

JFK's words certainly shaped my life. And I'm not alone. Many others were also motivated to serve their country. We were changed forever by his idealism, his life-view of service and by what those volunteers encountered during their years of service.

It is said that Kennedy and the Peace Corps's founding director, Sargent Shriver, knew that the greatest changes would take place in the minds of the volunteers, not in the countries in which they served. I can attest to that truth.

During the commemoration in Dallas, presidential historian David McCullough read excerpts of some of Kennedy's best known speeches.He said Kennedy spoke of things that mattered, including education, service to one's country and the cause of peace on Earth. And he said Kennedy spoke to the point, with confidence and without ''stale platitudes.'' I have no doubt that JFK was a great orator as well as a great speech writer.

What JFK communicated to me revolved around two simple propositions: That words matter. And that stringing words together to create powerful thoughts that move readers is important work.

I was stirred by his words, particularly these: So, my fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country.

The instant he announced the formation of The Peace Corps, I was ready to sign up, although I had to wait six years before I could volunteer.

My decision to become a writer also stemmed directly from JFK's sense of style--not only the way he wrote and spoke--although that was important--but also the way he dressed, behaved, and held himself. (I am referring here more to the image of how he behaved rather than what we learned later of how he actually behaved.)

He made it seem as though everything we wanted to achieve as a nation was well within our kin. He did not make it look easy. He made it look as though we could do it if we really wanted and that the doing of it was worthwhile. I took that to heart when I set out to become a Peace Corps Volunteer on the northern coast of Colombia. I also took it to heart when I set out to be a writer.

Thanks to this day of commemoration, I came to understand how JFK was a principal actor in my life, motivating me to become the person I am today.

Note: In my view JFK rhetoric created an historic moment that changed history in its own rite. That is exactly what President Lincoln created with his Gettysburg Address. Read my analysis of that speech in an earlier ExcitingWriting Advisory: http://excitingwritingblog.blogspot.com/2013/01/the-power-of-negative-writing.html

Thursday, September 26, 2013

How to Write SEO Content

As most of you know SEO stands for ''search engine optimized.'' A website is search engine optimized when it ranks high in search engine results after people do a Google search where they fill in key words that are relevant to that website.

The business value of a website is directly proportional to how high it ranks in key word search engine results. Search engines list sites top to bottom in order of relevancy to any given key word or set of key words. The goal is to have your website place among the top ten results. The closer to the top of the list your website is in search engine results, the more likely it is to get clicked on and score a visit from a prospect.

You can't paste a list of key words on each page of a website and hope that a search engine will rank it very high. Search engines are smart enough to spot those techniques and discount them. The key words you use on each page must be carefully woven into the copy. They should be evenly distributed throughout, not just at the beginning.

Here is a list of best practices you can follow when writing web pages:

Focus on your audience first. Think about the people who will use your website, as well as the people you want to land on your website. Consider their interests and their state of mind as they fill a key word or a set of key words into a search engine. Think about their age (in some cases the size of font can matter), whether they are more likely to be men or women, the level of their education, their life situation and their attitudes, values or beliefs. (For example, are they stressed? Financially secure? Relaxed? Enjoying themselves?)

Write each page so it engages your audience. Web writing is no different from any other kind. It is supposed to provide meaningful content that informs and educates your readers so they feel they have gotten great value. It is also supposed to be your content, not someone else's. If you think you can copy from competing websites and change up one or two words and get away with that, think again. Your competitors routinely do Google searches on their own key words in order to assess their rankings and look at their competitors' websites. If they see content that is similar to theirs on your website, you may find yourself the recipient of a letter from that company's legal department. Make certain your content belongs to your company, sounds like your company and uses your key words. Make certain it is consistent with your brand and speaks to your website visitor in the voice of your brand.

Keep a key word list and sprinkle those key words on as many web pages as possible. The key word list comes from what you offer your website visitors, but it also should be a result of what your website visitors are looking for when they visit your site. That's why it is so important to begin by focusing on your audience, your prospective visitors and their state of mind as they perform a key word search. At the same time, remember this: When you Google your key words, you had better pull up your website or your competitors' websites. If the websites those searches pull up have nothing to do with your industry or service offerings, you should re-think your key words.

Make every website page different. Search engines and people are smart enough to realize when a website uses the same content on two or more pages, even when the heading is different. They ''mark off'' for that. So don't do it.

Boost rankings using key words in various ways. Place key words in:

  • Headlines
  • Italicized words
  • Bullet lists
  • Opening sentences
  • Conclusions
  • Related links
But don't repeat key words so often that they sound repetitive, or give visitors the impression you are just listing the key words one after another.

Improve rankings by using different forms of key words. Use verb present participles or past tenses of verbs. For example, if one of your key words is ''engine design,'' consider using ''When designing an engine…'' and the phrase, ''…a well designed engine…'' in the copy.

Think of your site as part of a community. Link your site to other logical sites and encourage the owners of those websites to link to you. Logical sites might include industry groups that your company belongs to or expert sites, for example, the sites of authors and other experts in your field. The more links of this kind that a search engine detects in a website, the higher it will rank it in its findings. Think in a new way. It is not just you vs. your competitors; it is you and your company as part of a connected community.

Finally, optimize your writing for search engines by optimizing it for prospects. If you get the impression that ''all this key word stuff'' is just for search engine rankings, then I haven't been direct enough: The true purpose is to provide best value to the people who you want to visit your website; best value in the form of valuable content, content that is valuable to them.

Tune in next month when I review another how-to-write book.

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

What Makes a Novel Compelling is Often Written Between the Lines

This month I review an extremely educational, short and easy-to-read booklet written by Elizabeth Lyon, the bestselling author of Manuscript Makeover. I believe it is must reading for everyone who loves to read stories or write them.

Writing Subtext: Elizabeth Lyon on: How to craft subtext that develops characters, boosts suspense, and reinforces theme. Booklet #1 in a series by Ms. Elizabeth C. Lyon (June 19, 2013) Available from Amazon in paperback for less than $5; Kindle edition, for less than $3.

Whether you would like to write best-selling books, or just understand at a deeper level why you love the books you love, you should read Writing Subtext.

Have you ever reached the point in a movie, novel, short story or dramatic play when suddenly you get the distinct impression that a lot more is going on than you at first thought? Perhaps a chill goes down your spine, your eyes widen, and your pulse quickens. You are hooked. Now you no longer have a choice to continue. You must keep reading or watching.

What we sense when we become deeply involved with a dramatic work of art is often the result of subtext. Our response to effective subtext can be powerful, both visceral and highly emotional. It is certainly one of the elements that makes stories worthwhile (sometimes addictive) to read or watch.

Some writers can write and publish a shelf of books and never hit it big. Others can publish just one and become famous. Subtext is often the seductive, delicate literary hormone that attracts readers and drives them wild.

Without it, the work is dead.

With it, the writing is alive, exciting and memorable.

Here are five reasons why I love this book and highly recommend it:

  • 1. The writing is simple to read and extremely clear.
  • 2. The narrative is wise. It is easy to understand yet never oversimplifies.
  • 3. The examples are excellent and plentiful.
  • 4. It is short.
  • 5. It costs less than a Starbucks latte.

Two excerpts from Writing Subtext:

Demonstrating ease of reading:

Teachers, agents, and editors often tell writers that every story should be about the thing and the other thing. Two sources of tension and suspense: from plot and subtext. What is overt and what is covert. If there are multiple things happening between the lines, then you have that many more sources of tension, subterranean forces, thematic possibilities, and character motivations.

Demonstrating clarity even when covering complex subject matter:

Story is different from plot. Some teachers define story as synonymous with plot. In casual use it is. But it has a specific function in craft. Every work of fiction has (or should have) an external storyline, the plot, and an internal psychological storyline, which I am calling story. Plot springs from story, and story reveals why the protagonist takes particular actions in the plot. The answer to why supports theme. For example: An unmarried woman becomes obsessed with adopting a Bulgarian orphan she fell in love with even though the country finds her marital status unacceptable. That outlines the plot. However, the same woman, whose mother abandoned her as a youngster, will stop at nothing to adopt the child who fulfills her own need for being taken care of. That explains her actions by supplying the internal, psychological story. Notice how the sentence describing the plot creates visual pictures; you can begin to conjure scenes. The sentence describing story is thematic; it conveys the underlying psychological need that drives the mother.

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

How to Skewer with a Sense of Style

Once upon a time literate people spent time coming up with clever wordplays that could devastate a rival, and sometimes even a friend.

Below you can read a collection of them. Notice that most will fit within today's Twitter character limit. Why don't people come up with these expressions today? They were written in a former era when people believed that if insults came from a truly sharp wit, they should sting.

He had delusions of adequacy.

Walter Kerr

He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

Winston Churchill

I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.

Clarence Darrow

He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.

William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I will waste no time reading it.

Moses Hadas

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. .

Mark Twain

He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.

Oscar Wilde

I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend... If you have one.

George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... If there is one.

Winston Churchill, in response.

I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here.

Stephen Bishop

He is a self-made man and worships his creator.

John Bright.

I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.

Irvin S. Cobb.

He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.

Samuel Johnson

He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.

Paul Keating

In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.

Charles, Count Talleyrand

He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.

Forrest Tucker

Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?

Mark Twain

His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.

Mae West

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

Oscar Wilde

He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... For support rather than illumination.

Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

Groucho Marx

There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure.

Jack E. Leonard

He has the attention span of a lightning bolt.

Robert Redford

They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge.

Thomas Brackett Reed

He has Van Gogh's ear for music.

Billy Wilder

He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.

Abraham Lincoln

Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?

Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

A modest little person, with much to be modest about.

Winston Churchill

The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:

She said, If you were my husband I'd give you poison.

He said, If you were my wife, I'd drink it.

A member of Parliament to Disraeli: Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.

That depends, Sir, said Disraeli, whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.

If you have nothing good to say about anyone, come sit next to me.

Alice Roosevelt Longworth (daughter of Teddy Roosevelt)

I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top.

English Professor, Ohio University

Monday, June 24, 2013

Would your life make a fantastic book? Read this one before you start writing.

For the last decade, I have been sending my readers (who now number more than 2,500) strategies and tactics to help them improve their writing. With this EWA, I inaugurate a new series (appearing every other month) in which I review a book on the subject of writing. Craft, inspirational and writer memoir books will all be grist for this every-other-month mill.

The book I'm reviewing this month:

Writing Life Stories: How to Make memories into MEMOIRS, ideas into ESSAYS, and life into LITERATURE, (fully revised second edition) by Bill Roorbach with Kristen Keckler, PhD. Writer's Digest Books, Cincinnati, O, 2008. 296 pps.

Many people believe their life would make a fantastic book if only they had the skills to write it. They have no problem visualizing the end result: A memoir filled with wisdom; one that is taut with tension, a real page-turner.

They can see it so clearly as a finished work when they daydream about it, but the moment they sit down to write, problems pop up, and they soon conclude that writing life stories is not nearly as easy as they imagined.

If you have ever thought your writing might benefit from a how-to book written by an excellent writing teacher as well as an excellent memoirist, essayist and fiction writer, Writing Life Stories is the perfect book for you.

Here are nine things I love about Writing Life Stories:

1. The voice. The voice is that of Bill Roorbach himself: friendly, forgiving, compassionate and at times playful and cajoling, never ponderous. Roorbach taught creative nonfiction courses for many years, and he has a stage presence that commands a room; yet he never takes himself too seriously. For decades he has been helping beginning writers as well as those of us who have just enough knowledge of writing to be dangerous. What I love about Roorbach's voice is its wisdom and intelligence, coupled with its informality and lightness that invites readers into the subject matter. By the way, chapter six of Roorbach's book is entitled "Stage Presence." It is devoted to defining what a writing voice is and instructing readers on how to create their own authentic voices.

2. The writing. Roorbach's book is designed to be read by non-writers and beginning writers. It is simple to understand; its precepts are easy to apply. Roorbach's achievement: As you advance from chapter to chapter, the concepts become more advanced yet the language describing the concepts remains simple, clear and understandable, even to a beginner. Yet I learned a lot from the book, and I am not a beginning writer.

3. The examples. Roorbach is tremendously well read in the area of literary nonfiction. By just reading his book you get to sample the writing of so many masters of essay and memoir: Montaigne, Philip Roth, Tobias Wolff, and Truman Capote, along with many other greats that he quotes. That is part of the fun of Writing Life Stories. In the back of the book there is a 21-page appendix entitled Suggested Readings in Creative Nonfiction.

4. The exercises. They begin with simple projects like setting aside a special place to write and drawing up time-lines to help in organizing key events of your life. Roorbach has obviously put a lot of time and effort into developing these exercises. They make the book more valuable as a how-to because the exercises give you the opportunity to apply what you learn and explore on your own. The exercises are only another reminder that when you pick up this book you are putting yourself in the hands of a gifted writer and teacher.

One of the most creative and effective exercises asks you to draw a map of your neighborhood when you were a child. Put an X where you lived and mark and label where relatives and friends lived, where the vacant lot was, where your school was, where the department store was and where the convenience store was—all the locations that were important to you as a child.

Then, a separate exercise asks you to jot down in shortened form all the stories that occurred to you both as you drew the map and now as you think about the relationships between the locations on the map. I found that both these exercises yielded some interesting childhood stories I had not thought of in a long time.

One of the most provocative activities asks you to box up and either throw out or put in long-term storage everything you have written to date. It invites you to think of yourself as now moving on to a new stage in your writing career. The exercise is meant to free yourself of identifying with your earlier writing. Instead, it invites you to wipe the slate clean and start over fresh. I love the intention behind that exercise.

5. The Apprenticeship Concept. Roorbach encourages writers to think of themselves as apprentices, as people who are learning to write by reading and getting instruction from masters in the craft of writing. Why is that a good thing? If we embrace our apprentice status with pride and enthusiasm, we have freedom to try new things and even fail at them. We can fail without feeling like a failure. We get to have fun and find joy in trying to write something even if in the end we cannot quite pull it off. We get to improve just by trying new things.

6. The clarity. Roorbach writes very clearly. For example, the way he defines what a scene is and differentiates it from exposition: A scene takes place in a specific time and place, records events, actions, talk, stuff happening… Exposition is the most abstract and seeks to explains things, to convey information, to offer analysis, to put forth ideas.

After giving his readers plenty of examples, he nails it home in two short sentences: So scene is showing. Exposition is telling.

7. Student characters. Roorbach develops student characters—my favorite is one he names Gow—that create the classroom as a recurring scene throughout the book where students' struggles with their writing play out. We get to imagine we are in a class and Bill Roorbach is our teacher. As you can when you are taking any course, you learn from the student characters in Roorbach's book.

8. The subjects. This book covers all aspects of literary nonfiction writing including scene, structure, character, description, voice, research and more. In addition Roorbach describes many kinds of writing: nature writing, travel writing and many categories.

9. Treating memory with the respect it deserves. I have often struggled with memoir, asking myself, how can an adult writer recall what was said when she was a child? No one has a tape-recorder memory. Finding a way around the technical meaning of memoir, and trusting the writer to put forth his best recollection of what happened in a scene gave me a sense of freedom to write essay and memoir I did not have before reading Roorbach's book.

10. The second edition. Make certain you purchase the second edition of Writing Life Stories. According to Bill, the second edition includes new exercises, expanded chapters, especially in the case of the chapter on Internet research, a kind of research that barely existed when the first edition came out. In addition, the new edition includes many fresh, new excerpts from accomplished writers, and showcases the talent and intelligence of the "brilliant" Kristen Keckler, who helped Bill revise the book.

WHO EXACTLY IS BILL ROORBACH?

HTTP://www.billroorbach.com/

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Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Clearing up the Confusion Between Secular and Sectarian.

When we hear about a bombing in Afghanistan on the news, does the announcer mention that the bombing is an example of SECULAR violence, or does the announcer say it is an example of SECTARIAN violence?

The correct answer is SECTARIAN violence, but if you thought it was the other word, you are not alone. The words SECULAR and SECTARIAN sound so similar (those words are called phonemes) they are very easily mixed up. In most dictionaries they appear on the same page, yet they can have the exact opposite meaning. That fact only makes it more important that we know the difference and have an easy way to remember the difference. That is my purpose in writing this EWA.

The etymology (or word history) of the two words is completely different:

The adjective SECTARIAN, as in sectarian violence, comes from the word SECT. Its etymology: It derives from the Middle English word secte, which comes from the Middle French and Late Latin, secta, which refers to an organized ecclesiastical body. Although the word started out meaning a way of life or a class of people, it now means a dissenting or schismatic religious body, especially one regarded by others as extreme or heretical. (My source: Webster's Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary.)

If you want to express the kind of violence that sometimes happens between different sects of Muslims, then sectarian is the appropriate word to use.

The term SECULAR has a completely different etymology: It comes from Middle English (derived from Old French) seculer, which, in turn, derives from the Latin word saeculum, meaning breed or generation, akin to the Latin serere which means to sow. That is why in modern-day usage, the word refers to the passage of time. Its first definition in Webster's: Of or relating to worldly or temporal concerns. The definition specifically indicates: Not overtly or specifically religious, for example: secular music.

So you see how SECULAR means non-religious and has the opposite meaning of SECTARIAN, which means religious or relating to a religious sect.

SECULAR MUSIC is non-religious music. SECTARIAN MUSIC, if such a term were used (it's not likely it would ever be used, but it could be) refers to the music of specific religious sects, for example Suni music.

Here's where it gets really complicated: The opposite of SECULAR is NONSECULAR. The opposite of SECTARIAN is NONSECTARIAN. NONSECULAR has the same meaning as SECTARIAN; NONSECTARIAN has the same meaning as SECULAR.

But let's keep it simple. Fix in your mind just two simple things: Secular means non-religious; Sectarian means religious.

Here's a simple way to remember: Of the two words, sectarian is the only one that has a T in it. The letter T resembles a Christian cross a little bit, so that is the word that means religious.

The other word, SECULAR, does not have a T in it, so it means non-religious.

Have I made it very simple for you to keep those two words straight? Please leave a comment if you agree.