Giving Adjectives and Adverbs the Boot!

Not all parts of speech are equal. Nouns and verbs are noble, upstanding and good. Adjectives and adverbs can be bad. Writing that contains a lot of those two lower forms of speech can be very, very bad. Notice that even I lard on the adjectives from time to time.

Adverbs, often objects of scorn, are the words that modify verbs, adjectives and other adverbs, the ones that usually end with the letters "ly." They usually answer the questions ''When?'' ''Where?'' ''How?'' How often?'' and ''How many?'' Adjectives are not quite as bad as adverbs; however, when adjectives appear in writing in great number, they cause it to resemble a lawn that is overrun with dandelions. Adjectives are words that tell ''How many?'' ''What kind?'' ''Which one?'' and ''What size, color or shape?'' Sure, we all use them from time to time. Better writers use them sparingly.

Mark Twain called the use of the adverb a ''plague.'' Graham Greene called adverbs ''beastly.'' Stephen King wrote, ''I believe the road to hell is paved with adverbs, and I will shout it from the rooftops.'' He wrote that writers use adverbs out of fear and timidity. In part he was referring to writers who use words like ''usually,'' ''nearly,'' and ''almost.'' He is correct. (I could have written, He is absolutely correct, but what good would using the adverb ''absolutely'' have served? None at all.) Strunk and White held nothing back when venting their vitriol about useless qualifiers, calling them ''the leeches that infest the pond of prose, sucking the blood of words.''

The trouble with Adjectives and Adverbs.

Here are four things that go wrong with writing when it is dependent on adjectives and adjectives.

1.They make the writing sound pushy. Example: ''The quick acting medicine quietly rushes to your bloodstream.'' It makes writing sound as though the reader is editorializing, pushing a point of view or spinning hyperbole.

2. They tell, thereby cheating the reader of imagining a scene for him or herself.

As John Barth writes in Lost in the Funhouse, ''to write that [a character] is pretty is to accomplish nothing; the reader may acknowledge the proposition, but his imagination is not engaged.''

By way of explanation, decide which of these two sentences you prefer?

Sentence #1: He whispered to her lovingly.

Sentence #2: He whispered words of love, my sweet, my lover, my angel.

The first sentence uses the adverb, ''lovingly'' to get across its meaning. The second uses only a single verb and a number of nouns.

The first sentence tells; the second one shows.

The first sentence sums up for you what was said. The narrator decides the tone behind the whispering. He calls it loving in nature.

The second sentence shows. It lets the reader hear the words whispered.

Another difference: In the first sentence, the reader gets the distinct impression the narrator is pre-sold on his love. The second sentence leaves room for interpretation because it focuses only on behavior, on the words actually said. Sure, he is saying those words, but could he be insincere? Could be saying one thing but feeling another? Of course he could. I find that in fiction writing adverbs diminish character development. They also take the fun out of reading.

3. They come from fear or timidity. Example: '''Drop that gun,' he said courageously.'' Does the writer of that sentence feel a need to use the adverb ''courageously'' because he or she is afraid the reader won't understand the courage it took the person to say that? Far better to write a scene that shows that the speaker had to be courageous when he said those words. Edit the sentence, '''Drop that gun,' he said."

4. They come from a lack of imagination, laziness, or an unwillingness to immerse oneself in a scene and describe what is said or imagined. Example: ''He whispered to her lovingly'' (discussed above.)

As Richard Noble wrote in an article, ''Don't use adjectives and adverbs to pretty up your prose:'' A few adjectives are okay when carefully chosen. He gives the example: ''The house had an empty feeling to it, the air stale with undefined kitchen odors.'' [He is saying that that sentence is okay, and I agree with him.]

As Noble writes: ''This is tight, dramatic description. But what happens when I add more adjectives to 'prettify' it?

''The dark, dreary house had an empty, suspicious feel to it, the thick air stale and sour with undefined, scary kitchen odors.''

Adding adjectives doesn't make it better. It makes it worse, unreadable, in fact. It gives it that same pushy feeling that adverbs give, a sense that a bill of goods is being foisted on the reader.

Four methods to fix them for good.

1.Turn an adjective into a verb. Instead of writing ''The carriage drove along the bumpy road,'' write, ''The carriage bumped along the road.''

2. Use a metaphor or simile instead of summing it up for the reader with an adverb or adjective. Instead of writing, ''The building began to shake horribly,'' write, ''The building began to shake like a washing machine on spin cycle with a off-balance load.''

3.Be more specific in your use of words. Instead of writing a ''big house,'' use the word ''mansion.''

4.Write a separate sentence instead of loading your nouns up with adjectives or adverbs. Instead of writing, ''The smart fox quickly changed direction and jumped over the high fence,'' write, ''The fox changed direction so quickly, many of the people watching it lost track of where it was; finally, it jumped over a fence that was so high many horses could not clear it.'' The word ''smart'' can be dropped; it's obvious. This kind of writing requires more words, but it is also more readable because it paints a picture that helps the reader see what is happening.

Because Words Matter and Writing is Important

The commemoration in Dallas of the fiftieth anniversary of the assassination of President John F. Kennedy reminded me of why I became a Peace Corps Volunteer after I graduated from college, and why today I am a writer.

JFK's words certainly shaped my life. And I'm not alone. Many others were also motivated to serve their country. We were changed forever by his idealism, his life-view of service and by what those volunteers encountered during their years of service.

It is said that Kennedy and the Peace Corps's founding director, Sargent Shriver, knew that the greatest changes would take place in the minds of the volunteers, not in the countries in which they served. I can attest to that truth.

During the commemoration in Dallas, presidential historian David McCullough read excerpts of some of Kennedy's best known speeches.He said Kennedy spoke of things that mattered, including education, service to one's country and the cause of peace on Earth. And he said Kennedy spoke to the point, with confidence and without ''stale platitudes.'' I have no doubt that JFK was a great orator as well as a great speech writer.

What JFK communicated to me revolved around two simple propositions: That words matter. And that stringing words together to create powerful thoughts that move readers is important work.

I was stirred by his words, particularly these: So, my fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country.

The instant he announced the formation of The Peace Corps, I was ready to sign up, although I had to wait six years before I could volunteer.

My decision to become a writer also stemmed directly from JFK's sense of style--not only the way he wrote and spoke--although that was important--but also the way he dressed, behaved, and held himself. (I am referring here more to the image of how he behaved rather than what we learned later of how he actually behaved.)

He made it seem as though everything we wanted to achieve as a nation was well within our kin. He did not make it look easy. He made it look as though we could do it if we really wanted and that the doing of it was worthwhile. I took that to heart when I set out to become a Peace Corps Volunteer on the northern coast of Colombia. I also took it to heart when I set out to be a writer.

Thanks to this day of commemoration, I came to understand how JFK was a principal actor in my life, motivating me to become the person I am today.

Note: In my view JFK rhetoric created an historic moment that changed history in its own rite. That is exactly what President Lincoln created with his Gettysburg Address. Read my analysis of that speech in an earlier ExcitingWriting Advisory: http://excitingwritingblog.blogspot.com/2013/01/the-power-of-negative-writing.html

How to Write SEO Content

As most of you know SEO stands for ''search engine optimized.'' A website is search engine optimized when it ranks high in search engine results after people do a Google search where they fill in key words that are relevant to that website.

The business value of a website is directly proportional to how high it ranks in key word search engine results. Search engines list sites top to bottom in order of relevancy to any given key word or set of key words. The goal is to have your website place among the top ten results. The closer to the top of the list your website is in search engine results, the more likely it is to get clicked on and score a visit from a prospect.

You can't paste a list of key words on each page of a website and hope that a search engine will rank it very high. Search engines are smart enough to spot those techniques and discount them. The key words you use on each page must be carefully woven into the copy. They should be evenly distributed throughout, not just at the beginning.

Here is a list of best practices you can follow when writing web pages:

Focus on your audience first. Think about the people who will use your website, as well as the people you want to land on your website. Consider their interests and their state of mind as they fill a key word or a set of key words into a search engine. Think about their age (in some cases the size of font can matter), whether they are more likely to be men or women, the level of their education, their life situation and their attitudes, values or beliefs. (For example, are they stressed? Financially secure? Relaxed? Enjoying themselves?)

Write each page so it engages your audience. Web writing is no different from any other kind. It is supposed to provide meaningful content that informs and educates your readers so they feel they have gotten great value. It is also supposed to be your content, not someone else's. If you think you can copy from competing websites and change up one or two words and get away with that, think again. Your competitors routinely do Google searches on their own key words in order to assess their rankings and look at their competitors' websites. If they see content that is similar to theirs on your website, you may find yourself the recipient of a letter from that company's legal department. Make certain your content belongs to your company, sounds like your company and uses your key words. Make certain it is consistent with your brand and speaks to your website visitor in the voice of your brand.

Keep a key word list and sprinkle those key words on as many web pages as possible. The key word list comes from what you offer your website visitors, but it also should be a result of what your website visitors are looking for when they visit your site. That's why it is so important to begin by focusing on your audience, your prospective visitors and their state of mind as they perform a key word search. At the same time, remember this: When you Google your key words, you had better pull up your website or your competitors' websites. If the websites those searches pull up have nothing to do with your industry or service offerings, you should re-think your key words.

Make every website page different. Search engines and people are smart enough to realize when a website uses the same content on two or more pages, even when the heading is different. They ''mark off'' for that. So don't do it.

Boost rankings using key words in various ways. Place key words in:

• Headlines
• Italicized words
• Bullet lists
• Opening sentences
• Conclusions
• Related links

But don't repeat key words so often that they sound repetitive, or give visitors the impression you are just listing the key words one after another.

Improve rankings by using different forms of key words. Use verb present participles or past tenses of verbs. For example, if one of your key words is ''engine design,'' consider using ''When designing an engine…'' and the phrase, ''…a well designed engine…'' in the copy.

Think of your site as part of a community. Link your site to other logical sites and encourage the owners of those websites to link to you. Logical sites might include industry groups that your company belongs to or expert sites, for example, the sites of authors and other experts in your field. The more links of this kind that a search engine detects in a website, the higher it will rank it in its findings. Think in a new way. It is not just you vs. your competitors; it is you and your company as part of a connected community.

Finally, optimize your writing for search engines by optimizing it for prospects. If you get the impression that ''all this key word stuff'' is just for search engine rankings, then I haven't been direct enough: The true purpose is to provide best value to the people who you want to visit your website; best value in the form of valuable content, content that is valuable to them.

Tune in next month when I review another how-to-write book.

What Makes a Novel Compelling is Often Written Between the Lines

This month I review an extremely educational, short and easy-to-read booklet written by Elizabeth Lyon, the bestselling author of Manuscript Makeover. I believe it is must reading for everyone who loves to read stories or write them.

Writing Subtext: Elizabeth Lyon on: How to craft subtext that develops characters, boosts suspense, and reinforces theme. Booklet #1 in a series by Ms. Elizabeth C. Lyon (June 19, 2013) Available from Amazon in paperback for less than $5; Kindle edition, for less than $3.

Whether you would like to write best-selling books, or just understand at a deeper level why you love the books you love, you should read Writing Subtext.

Have you ever reached the point in a movie, novel, short story or dramatic play when suddenly you get the distinct impression that a lot more is going on than you at first thought? Perhaps a chill goes down your spine, your eyes widen, and your pulse quickens. You are hooked. Now you no longer have a choice to continue. You must keep reading or watching.

What we sense when we become deeply involved with a dramatic work of art is often the result of subtext. Our response to effective subtext can be powerful, both visceral and highly emotional. It is certainly one of the elements that makes stories worthwhile (sometimes addictive) to read or watch.

Some writers can write and publish a shelf of books and never hit it big. Others can publish just one and become famous. Subtext is often the seductive, delicate literary hormone that attracts readers and drives them wild.

Without it, the work is dead.

With it, the writing is alive, exciting and memorable.

Here are five reasons why I love this book and highly recommend it:

• 1. The writing is simple to read and extremely clear.
• 2. The narrative is wise. It is easy to understand yet never oversimplifies.
• 3. The examples are excellent and plentiful.
• 4. It is short.
• 5. It costs less than a Starbucks latte.

Two excerpts from Writing Subtext:

Demonstrating ease of reading:

Teachers, agents, and editors often tell writers that every story should be about the thing and the other thing. Two sources of tension and suspense: from plot and subtext. What is overt and what is covert. If there are multiple things happening between the lines, then you have that many more sources of tension, subterranean forces, thematic possibilities, and character motivations.

Demonstrating clarity even when covering complex subject matter:

Story is different from plot. Some teachers define story as synonymous with plot. In casual use it is. But it has a specific function in craft. Every work of fiction has (or should have) an external storyline, the plot, and an internal psychological storyline, which I am calling story. Plot springs from story, and story reveals why the protagonist takes particular actions in the plot. The answer to why supports theme. For example: An unmarried woman becomes obsessed with adopting a Bulgarian orphan she fell in love with even though the country finds her marital status unacceptable. That outlines the plot. However, the same woman, whose mother abandoned her as a youngster, will stop at nothing to adopt the child who fulfills her own need for being taken care of. That explains her actions by supplying the internal, psychological story. Notice how the sentence describing the plot creates visual pictures; you can begin to conjure scenes. The sentence describing story is thematic; it conveys the underlying psychological need that drives the mother.

How to Skewer with a Sense of Style

Once upon a time literate people spent time coming up with clever wordplays that could devastate a rival, and sometimes even a friend.

Below you can read a collection of them. Notice that most will fit within today's Twitter character limit. Why don't people come up with these expressions today? They were written in a former era when people believed that if insults came from a truly sharp wit, they should sting.

He had delusions of adequacy.

Walter Kerr

He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

Winston Churchill

I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.

Clarence Darrow

He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.

William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I will waste no time reading it.

Moses Hadas

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. .

Mark Twain

He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.

Oscar Wilde

I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend... If you have one.

George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... If there is one.

Winston Churchill, in response.

I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here.

Stephen Bishop

He is a self-made man and worships his creator.

John Bright.

I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.

Irvin S. Cobb.

He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.

Samuel Johnson

He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.

Paul Keating

In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.

Charles, Count Talleyrand

He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.

Forrest Tucker

Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?

Mark Twain

His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.

Mae West

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

Oscar Wilde

He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... For support rather than illumination.

Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

Groucho Marx

There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure.

Jack E. Leonard

He has the attention span of a lightning bolt.

Robert Redford

They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge.

Thomas Brackett Reed

He has Van Gogh's ear for music.

Billy Wilder

He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.

Abraham Lincoln

Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?

Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

A modest little person, with much to be modest about.

Winston Churchill

The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:

She said, If you were my husband I'd give you poison.

He said, If you were my wife, I'd drink it.

A member of Parliament to Disraeli: Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.

That depends, Sir, said Disraeli, whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.

If you have nothing good to say about anyone, come sit next to me.

Alice Roosevelt Longworth (daughter of Teddy Roosevelt)

I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top.

English Professor, Ohio University

Would your life make a fantastic book? Read this one before you start writing.

For the last decade, I have been sending my readers (who now number more than 2,500) strategies and tactics to help them improve their writing. With this EWA, I inaugurate a new series (appearing every other month) in which I review a book on the subject of writing. Craft, inspirational and writer memoir books will all be grist for this every-other-month mill.

The book I'm reviewing this month:

Writing Life Stories: How to Make memories into MEMOIRS, ideas into ESSAYS, and life into LITERATURE, (fully revised second edition) by Bill Roorbach with Kristen Keckler, PhD. Writer's Digest Books, Cincinnati, O, 2008. 296 pps.

Many people believe their life would make a fantastic book if only they had the skills to write it. They have no problem visualizing the end result: A memoir filled with wisdom; one that is taut with tension, a real page-turner.

They can see it so clearly as a finished work when they daydream about it, but the moment they sit down to write, problems pop up, and they soon conclude that writing life stories is not nearly as easy as they imagined.

If you have ever thought your writing might benefit from a how-to book written by an excellent writing teacher as well as an excellent memoirist, essayist and fiction writer, Writing Life Stories is the perfect book for you.

Here are nine things I love about Writing Life Stories:

1. The voice. The voice is that of Bill Roorbach himself: friendly, forgiving, compassionate and at times playful and cajoling, never ponderous. Roorbach taught creative nonfiction courses for many years, and he has a stage presence that commands a room; yet he never takes himself too seriously. For decades he has been helping beginning writers as well as those of us who have just enough knowledge of writing to be dangerous. What I love about Roorbach's voice is its wisdom and intelligence, coupled with its informality and lightness that invites readers into the subject matter. By the way, chapter six of Roorbach's book is entitled "Stage Presence." It is devoted to defining what a writing voice is and instructing readers on how to create their own authentic voices.

2. The writing. Roorbach's book is designed to be read by non-writers and beginning writers. It is simple to understand; its precepts are easy to apply. Roorbach's achievement: As you advance from chapter to chapter, the concepts become more advanced yet the language describing the concepts remains simple, clear and understandable, even to a beginner. Yet I learned a lot from the book, and I am not a beginning writer.

3. The examples. Roorbach is tremendously well read in the area of literary nonfiction. By just reading his book you get to sample the writing of so many masters of essay and memoir: Montaigne, Philip Roth, Tobias Wolff, and Truman Capote, along with many other greats that he quotes. That is part of the fun of Writing Life Stories. In the back of the book there is a 21-page appendix entitled Suggested Readings in Creative Nonfiction.

4. The exercises. They begin with simple projects like setting aside a special place to write and drawing up time-lines to help in organizing key events of your life. Roorbach has obviously put a lot of time and effort into developing these exercises. They make the book more valuable as a how-to because the exercises give you the opportunity to apply what you learn and explore on your own. The exercises are only another reminder that when you pick up this book you are putting yourself in the hands of a gifted writer and teacher.

One of the most creative and effective exercises asks you to draw a map of your neighborhood when you were a child. Put an X where you lived and mark and label where relatives and friends lived, where the vacant lot was, where your school was, where the department store was and where the convenience store was—all the locations that were important to you as a child.

Then, a separate exercise asks you to jot down in shortened form all the stories that occurred to you both as you drew the map and now as you think about the relationships between the locations on the map. I found that both these exercises yielded some interesting childhood stories I had not thought of in a long time.

One of the most provocative activities asks you to box up and either throw out or put in long-term storage everything you have written to date. It invites you to think of yourself as now moving on to a new stage in your writing career. The exercise is meant to free yourself of identifying with your earlier writing. Instead, it invites you to wipe the slate clean and start over fresh. I love the intention behind that exercise.

5. The Apprenticeship Concept. Roorbach encourages writers to think of themselves as apprentices, as people who are learning to write by reading and getting instruction from masters in the craft of writing. Why is that a good thing? If we embrace our apprentice status with pride and enthusiasm, we have freedom to try new things and even fail at them. We can fail without feeling like a failure. We get to have fun and find joy in trying to write something even if in the end we cannot quite pull it off. We get to improve just by trying new things.

6. The clarity. Roorbach writes very clearly. For example, the way he defines what a scene is and differentiates it from exposition: A scene takes place in a specific time and place, records events, actions, talk, stuff happening… Exposition is the most abstract and seeks to explains things, to convey information, to offer analysis, to put forth ideas.

After giving his readers plenty of examples, he nails it home in two short sentences: So scene is showing. Exposition is telling.

7. Student characters. Roorbach develops student characters—my favorite is one he names Gow—that create the classroom as a recurring scene throughout the book where students' struggles with their writing play out. We get to imagine we are in a class and Bill Roorbach is our teacher. As you can when you are taking any course, you learn from the student characters in Roorbach's book.

8. The subjects. This book covers all aspects of literary nonfiction writing including scene, structure, character, description, voice, research and more. In addition Roorbach describes many kinds of writing: nature writing, travel writing and many categories.

9. Treating memory with the respect it deserves. I have often struggled with memoir, asking myself, how can an adult writer recall what was said when she was a child? No one has a tape-recorder memory. Finding a way around the technical meaning of memoir, and trusting the writer to put forth his best recollection of what happened in a scene gave me a sense of freedom to write essay and memoir I did not have before reading Roorbach's book.

10. The second edition. Make certain you purchase the second edition of Writing Life Stories. According to Bill, the second edition includes new exercises, expanded chapters, especially in the case of the chapter on Internet research, a kind of research that barely existed when the first edition came out. In addition, the new edition includes many fresh, new excerpts from accomplished writers, and showcases the talent and intelligence of the "brilliant" Kristen Keckler, who helped Bill revise the book.

WHO EXACTLY IS BILL ROORBACH?

HTTP://www.billroorbach.com/

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Clearing up the Confusion Between Secular and Sectarian.

When we hear about a bombing in Afghanistan on the news, does the announcer mention that the bombing is an example of SECULAR violence, or does the announcer say it is an example of SECTARIAN violence?

The correct answer is SECTARIAN violence, but if you thought it was the other word, you are not alone. The words SECULAR and SECTARIAN sound so similar (those words are called phonemes) they are very easily mixed up. In most dictionaries they appear on the same page, yet they can have the exact opposite meaning. That fact only makes it more important that we know the difference and have an easy way to remember the difference. That is my purpose in writing this EWA.

The etymology (or word history) of the two words is completely different:

The adjective SECTARIAN, as in sectarian violence, comes from the word SECT. Its etymology: It derives from the Middle English word secte, which comes from the Middle French and Late Latin, secta, which refers to an organized ecclesiastical body. Although the word started out meaning a way of life or a class of people, it now means a dissenting or schismatic religious body, especially one regarded by others as extreme or heretical. (My source: Webster's Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary.)

If you want to express the kind of violence that sometimes happens between different sects of Muslims, then sectarian is the appropriate word to use.

The term SECULAR has a completely different etymology: It comes from Middle English (derived from Old French) seculer, which, in turn, derives from the Latin word saeculum, meaning breed or generation, akin to the Latin serere which means to sow. That is why in modern-day usage, the word refers to the passage of time. Its first definition in Webster's: Of or relating to worldly or temporal concerns. The definition specifically indicates: Not overtly or specifically religious, for example: secular music.

So you see how SECULAR means non-religious and has the opposite meaning of SECTARIAN, which means religious or relating to a religious sect.

SECULAR MUSIC is non-religious music. SECTARIAN MUSIC, if such a term were used (it's not likely it would ever be used, but it could be) refers to the music of specific religious sects, for example Suni music.

Here's where it gets really complicated: The opposite of SECULAR is NONSECULAR. The opposite of SECTARIAN is NONSECTARIAN. NONSECULAR has the same meaning as SECTARIAN; NONSECTARIAN has the same meaning as SECULAR.

But let's keep it simple. Fix in your mind just two simple things: Secular means non-religious; Sectarian means religious.

Here's a simple way to remember: Of the two words, sectarian is the only one that has a T in it. The letter T resembles a Christian cross a little bit, so that is the word that means religious.

The other word, SECULAR, does not have a T in it, so it means non-religious.

Have I made it very simple for you to keep those two words straight? Please leave a comment if you agree.

Want to Read your Way to Better Writing?Become a Mindful Reader.

A lot of people say the best way to improve your writing is to write more. I have recommended that. It is usually a good idea. I think it becomes an excellent idea when you include a program of reading specifically designed to help improve your writing.

In designing your personal reading program, you should read the kind of writing you want to write. If you want to improve your online writing skills, read plenty of websites, especially award-winning websites. If you want to write a poem, read plenty of award-winning poems of all kinds. If you want to write a nonfiction article, become a voracious reader of nonfiction articles published in the most highly respected journals and magazines. If you want to write short stories, read the very best short stories. If you want to write romance novels, read lots of successful, widely read and award-winning romance novels. The same is true of advertising writing, historic fiction, literary fiction, sci fi or fantasy writing.

In order to read to become a better writer, do two things: 1) Always read the highest quality writing in whatever category you like, and 2) Always be a mindful reader.

A mindful reader is someone who not only enjoys a well-written piece of literature for its own sake, but who at the same time is continually keeping tabs on how the author is achieving those effects. What specific elements is the mindful reader keeping tabs on? Here are some:

• Plot
• Character development
• Descriptions and images
• Vocabulary
• Sentence structure
• Theme
• Writing style
• Metaphor, simile
• Verbs
• Adjectives
• Dialogue
• Character movement from place A to place B

That last one stumps a lot of beginning writers. How do they get a character off the phone and out of his home and into a car? How do they get someone from the garage into the house? Every writer of every kind of novel has to deal with these issues. The easiest and fastest way to strengthen these skills is to see how highly experienced writers handle these challenges in their writing.

If a piece of writing makes readers cry at the end, a mindful reader asks, How did the author get me to cry? What were the combinations of all the elements mentioned above, and how did the author combine them to create the empathy with the character and plot that led to me shedding tears at the end?

Here are a few things you can do to develop a reading program designed to help you become a more mindful reader.

Based on either your own impressions or what other people who have critiqued your writing have said, decide which elements you most want or need to improve first. Then read works that are strong in that area and read to see how the author accomplished that end. And that becomes your reading program.

For example, say your goal is to write better short stories, but you notice your efforts lack organization or a clear theme, or perhaps it’s the opposite: Your stories have themes that hit readers over the head like a hammer.

You could turn to a best short story collection in your interest area (best mystery, best horror story, best murder mystery, etc.) and read those stories specifically looking for ways authors artfully blend theme with plot and overall style of writing so that the theme is clear and present but does not call too much attention to itself.

Many writers say they have a challenge writing convincing dialogue. Approach people who know your writing area of interest. Ask them: Which authors should I read whose writing has excellent dialogue?

I’ve always had a challenge writing character descriptions. But when I was recently reading Revolutionary Road by Richard Yates, I found his descriptions to be so powerfully evocative, I felt as though Mr. Yates was personally teaching me a course in the subject.

The major point I’m making in this EWA: Mindful readers pay attention to what they are reading.

The next time you’re reading, pay attention to what elements or combination of elements you specifically need to improve in your writing. Notice how the best writers do it. And let your technique be influenced by the best.

Next month: Must-read books about writing.

Powerful Writing.

I believe we only rarely glimpse the potential power of words, and experience the difference they make in our lives.

Three examples:

1. The Gettysburg Address by Abraham Lincoln.

On the night of March seventh, 2013, I found myself in a near blizzard in downtown Boston where I was attending AWP, a writer's conference. I was on the Commons, looking up at a partly snow-covered statue of Edward Everett realizing (to my amazement) that I actually knew something about him.

William Everett was president of Harvard and a leader of the Greek Revival Movement in the 1860s, but, much more importantly, he was the principal speaker at Gettysburg, PA, on the same day that Abraham Lincoln delivered his historic Gettysburg Address.

That's right. Edward Everett was the principal speaker. Abraham Lincoln, the President of the United States, played a secondary role.

I happen to know this because I'd recently read parts of Garry Wills's Lincoln at Gettysburg: The Words That Remade America.

It is Wills's thesis that by delivering his 272-word address, Abraham Lincoln remade America. He focused the American people's spirit on creating a ''new birth of freedom.'' Lincoln set America on a new course that helped the nation accept the tremendous price it had already paid in lost lives from the Civil War.

(Lincoln's speech, delivered on November 19, 1863, dedicated a cemetery that was located on the site where The Battle of Gettysburg had been fought on July 1-3, 1863, about four months earlier.)

How did Lincoln change the course of history with a 272-word address? Wills writes that, ''In the crucible of the occasion, Lincoln distilled the meaning of the war, of the nation's purpose, of the remaining task, in a statement that is straightforward yet magical.''

The genius of Lincoln's rhetorical approach: He refused to describe the particulars of the battle. In fact, he never once calls it a battle; he calls it a ''struggle.'' Lincoln spoke in extremely general terms. For example, by never mentioning ''slavery'' or ''union'' or exactly what happened at The Battle of Gettysburg his words take on universal meaning. By never specifying exactly what is ''the great task remaining before us,'' the speech becomes a work of genius; it lets each person interpret it as he or she sees fit. One could call this democracy in rhetoric.

Gary Wills makes the point that Lincoln's speech captures the tone of funeral dirges by the Greek poet Pericles. When one reads Pericles' rhetoric (The author gives plenty of examples.) it becomes easy to appreciate the similarity in tone.

By the time we reach the climax of the speech (''…that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain, that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom…'') Lincoln's words invite each of us to bring his or her own understanding to define what ''a new birth of freedom'' means.

By contrast, Edward Everett's speech, delivered from the same podium on the same day was more than an hour long. It included a blow-by-blow description of the battle. Today no one quotes from Everett's speech. Lincoln's speech is routinely committed to memory by many students.

2. Nigerian author Chinua Achebe in his classic novel Things Fall Apart.

Chinua Achebe, famous for his 1958 novel Things Fall Apart, published when he was twenty-eight, passed away last Thursday at 82 years of age.

According to a New York Times article Achebe was a ''towering man of letters whose internationally acclaimed fiction helped to revive African literature and to rewrite the story of a continent.''

So here we have a mere 209-page novel whose accomplishments are nothing less than astounding. Achebe's little book changed the course of history. How did the author accomplish so much in so few words? He chose to write in a mythical style that allows readers plenty of room to fill in their own meanings.

The following passage gives deeper insight into Achebe's writing style. It appears on smoop.com: ''Although Achebe writes in English, he captures the cadence of the Ibo people (his Nigerian tribe), which is particularly noticeable in the book's dialogue. In the narration, Achebe keeps his language simple, direct, and centered on nature. His goal is to use language to depict how the Ibo people view their world. You will notice Ibo words and phrases popping up here and there. In addition to the cadence and content choices, Achebe also uses proverbs, which are indicative of the Ibo's oral tradition. Achebe uses many tiny stories shared by people and well known in certain villages to discuss events. These stories are the method people use to communicate with one another; they use them to explain acts of nature, traditions, history, and why people behave the way they do.

''Keeping all that in mind, let's take a look at an interaction that happens a few paragraphs into chapter twelve: Some of the women cooked the yams and the cassava, and the others prepared vegetable soup. 'Young men pounded the foo-foo or split firewood. The children made endless trips to the stream. […]


''The market in Umuike is a wonderful place,'' said the young man who had been sent by Obierika to buy the giant goat. 'There are so many people in it that if you throw up a grain of sand it would not find a way to fall to earth again.'

'It is the result of great medicine,' said Obierika. 'The people of Umuike wanted their market to grow and swallow up their market and their neighbors. So they made a powerful medicine […]



'And so everybody comes,' said another man, 'honest men and thieves. They can steal your cloth from off your waist in the market.'


''We've got sparse description, an Ibo word (foo-foo), some cadenced dialogue, a mini-story about medicine to explain why the Umuike market is so crowded; we've got men finishing each other's thoughts and explanations. Achebe does an amazing job of capturing the spirit of his native language in his second language, English.''

3. Prime Minister Winston Churchill's speeches during 1940-41.

The darkest days of the Battle of Britain came directly after Hitler and his German war machine forced the English to flee the European Continent at Dunkirk. Everyone believed that Germany could easily beat England. Everyone but Winston Churchill. When Churchill began rallying the British people with his stirring speeches, a miracle occurred. It was no less a miracle than when David slew Goliath. The English people stood up to Hitler. Notice Churchill's pugilistic writing style. Can't you just imagine him spitting out the words in his power-packed sentences:

''Victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror, victory however long and hard the road may be; for without victory there is no survival.

(Notice that Churchill sets out in plain terms for the British people what is at stake, their survival.)

''We shall not flag or fail. We shall go on to the end. We shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields, and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender.'' (Speech on Dunkirk, House of Commons, October 8, 1940)

In one short paragraph he uses the word ''fight'' five times. He uses two sound-alike words (''flag and fail'') to point out what the British will NOT do. The energy, strength and determination in the Churchill's rhetoric ignited a public fervor to resist the Nazi war machine with every sinew of its being.

In much the same way as Achebe's style of writing helped to revive African literature, Churchill's speeches in the House of Commons and his radio addresses were widely credited with giving the British the will to fight Hitler. Churchill's rhetoric became Britain's rallying cry and its first line of defense.

I believe Churchill's writing style is nearly the opposite of Abraham Lincoln's; Churchill is in your face, painting clear pictures with short sentences. Punch. Punch. Punch. Fight. Fight. Fight. Lincoln is laid back with poetic lyricism that allows the listener to fill in his own meanings. For example, ''But in a larger sense, we can not dedicate, we can not consecrate, we can not hallow this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here have consecrated it far above our poor power to add or detract.''

All three authors used their rhetoric to create new realities, write a new history. Each time we write, let's not forget the possibilities. Let's not forget what is at stake. Words when used properly can be just as powerful, or even more powerful, than our actions. To write a word, after all, is to take action.

Eight Values for Becoming a Better Writer

Good writing is not about following rules. It's not about breaking rules, either. It is about knowing the rules, being as aware as possible of the expectations of your readers, and following your own heart to find fresh ways to draw readers into a story and move them.

I think of writing craft as a sense of knowing what to write, and of knowing how to communicate a situation, a scene, a personality, a conflict or a story in a telling phrase or phrases. Simply put, writing craft is writing know-how. Developing writing craft is a journey of life-long learning. First you develop your values about what constitutes good writing. Then you practice them as you write. Of course, as you practice them, you refine them and develop new ones. As your talent grows, your aesthetic sensibilities grow.

Can you become a better writer just by adopting certain values? I say: yes, absolutely. Attitude is important in all aspects of life, and your attitudes about your writing have a great deal to do with the quality of your output.

In this essay I suggest a value-based approach to writing.

Following are are eight writing values that work for me. See if they work for you.

Value #1: The most important thing you owe your reader is plausibility.

To me writing is about communication. The act of connecting with an audience carries with it a responsibility, the responsibility of making sense to your readers. Whatever I am writing, whether it is website content or a short story, making sense is my first obligation. That does not mean you cannot journey to the farthest reaches of your imagination and take your readers with you. You can. But you must start out by making sense to your readers where they are when they read the first sentence.

Think of it this way: The value of any sentence is the sense it makes. That is the meaning of the word sentence, by the way. It comes from the Latin root for feel or sense. From the time you write the first word of a sentence you have only until the period at the end of the sentence to make sense. It is the job of the writer to make sense in as few words as possible.

Value #2: Kill the little ones.

I know it sounds cruel, but to be a good writer, you have to kill those pet ideas you cherish so dearly, the ones you cannot bear to give up. You know the ideas I am referring to: Perhaps it is a pun that is going to make people groan, or a term that is not quite on the mark (but you love it anyway), or a phrase you have to repeat often because it makes you want to stand up and cheer. Be stern with yourself and delete those pet ideas and phrases you fall in love with. They are little babies that cannot survive without your obsessive love. Machine gun them. Mow them down.

Value #3: Write it all the way through before you write it again.

I know of many writers who believe they must get the first sentence perfect before they write the second; or the first chapter perfect before they proceed to the second chapter. I think that is a mistake that leads to inefficiency, frustration, and the beginnings of books being better crafted than the endings.

I do not understand the use of the word perfect in reference to writing. Writing is by nature imperfect (just as we human beings who create it are imperfect). And, like the character of human beings, writing can be improved.

If you write it all the way through before you write it again, you get to participate in building the entire work as evenly and as quickly as possible. For example, you get to see the connections at the end of the story you might never have realized in chapter one. As you write the next draft you might decide to plant them in the opening chapters. These themes or motifs can now grow throughout the work, allowing you to harvest them, so to speak, in the final pages. This makes the work more unified, moving and successful.

When you write it all the way through before you rewrite, you will be amazed at how easy it is (as you rewrite) to differentiate the little ideas from the big ones and to kill off the little ones. You will amaze yourself: What seemed so important when you wrote the previous draft will now seem relatively unimportant and easy to drop.

Value #4: Do less better.

Do not overreach yourself. Do not try for glorious effects in your writing if they are not completely glorious. When writing a headline, do not make a pun unless it works completely. Do not crack a joke unless it is really funny and does not offend. It is far better to pack a headline with a startling fact than with a clever pun. It could be too clever for its own good. Be truthful with yourself.

Remember the first and last bastion of a writer: restraint. Perhaps you do not have to explain everything. Perhaps not explaining every last thing can be a sign of respect to the reader: You have given your readers the tools to figure it out, and you have complete confidence that they will figure it out. Or perhaps not explaining something can lend an air of mystery that can draw readers in. Perhaps leaving something out at the right point can have an appeal all its own.

Value #5: Treat your reader as you would a friend.

Take your reader by the hand; treat him like a friend, with kindness. Always be aware of your reader and, as much as is possible, what that very important person is thinking. What sense would it make to write in a way that causes readers to get lost? They might say back to you, Get lost, and close the book on your writing.

Value #6: Rules are made to be broken.

As I stated at the outset, rules are made to be broken. But you must know the rules before you develop a sense of when and how to break them. My advice: Break a rule, if you know what you are doing. And do not forget to be audacious!

Value #7: Show, do not tell. Tell, do not show.

Do not just tell a reader what you want her to know: show, demonstrate, paint a picture. As much as possible let your reader experience the story first hand.

You probably know how counterproductive it can be when you talk at people. You can also write at people. It's not a nice thing to do.

At the same time, I have discovered, as many other writers have, that there is a time for telling.

Telling can be very effective when used sparingly. It is sometimes necessary to advance a story.

May God grant me the ability to show in my writing what must be shown, and to tell what must be told, and the ability to know which is which.

Value #8: Forgive yourself.

Have patience. Often your writing is not going to work out the first time. If after you finish a draft you see nothing to change, ask a friend who will tell you the truth. Most often the brightness in writing comes from polishing.

Try these eight values on. Keep them in mind as you write and see the difference they make to your writing when you do.

The Power of Negative Writing

A recent article appearing in The Wall Street Journal entitled The Power of the Negative written by presidential historian Douglas L. Wilson (published January 17, 2013) made the point that our 16th President, Abraham Lincoln, was able to infuse power into his rhetoric by tapping into negative sentence constructs. As evidence, Mr. Wilson quoted excerpts from some of Lincoln's most memorable speeches:

With public sentiment, nothing can fail; without it, nothing can succeed.

The legal rights of the Southern people to reclaim their fugitives, I have constantly admitted. The legal right of Congress to interfere with their institutions in the states, I have constantly denied.

You have no oath registered in Heaven to destroy the government, while I shall have the most solemn one to preserve, protect and defend it.

Fellow citizens, we cannot escape history.

And by far Lincoln's two most famous negative sentences both come from the Gettysburg Address:

We cannot dedicate; we cannot consecrate; we cannot hallow this ground.

The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here.

By going negative in our writing we can lay claim to far more sweeping, visionary statements specifically because we are denying them. Oddly, the negative approach by taking in a larger vision gives voice to powerful, memorable phrases.

Extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice,, the statement by Barry Goldwater when he accepted his party's nomination is an excellent example.

We often see the power of negative writing at work in persuasive communications.

How often have have you seen and heard television commercials that claim something akin to the following:

''No detergent cleans better.''

''No gasoline has been proven to burn cleaner.''

''No network in North America gives you better coverage.''

Although these statements may sound like superiority claims, in fact they are parity claims. What is a parity claim? For example, in the case of the first one, ''No detergent cleans better,'' that claim actually means that the detergent being advertised is no better or worse than another. Likewise for the other two examples: All gasolines burn equally as clean. All networks give just about the same coverage.

Would you buy a toothpaste that claimed to clean teeth just about as well as any other toothpaste? I bet you would not. I'll bet you would want to purchase a toothpaste that claimed, No other toothpaste cleans teeth better. Don't you agree?

I have used this negative approach in headlines I've written:

For example: High Blood Pressure: Ignore it and You Will Go Away.

You could never get the same power by going positive. If you tried it would sound a little lame: High Blood Pressure: Pay Attention to it and you might live. Not as impressive, wouldn't you agree?

So the next time you are at a community meeting and someone announces that ''No one has done more to for this town that so-and-so'' know that the person referred to did about as much as anyone else. The speaker is not claiming that the person did more, only that no one else did more, which really means the person did about as much as anyone else.

It's not claiming superiority. It's claiming only parity. Yet most people will read that sentence and infer superiority from it. Pretty sneaky, huh?

So take care when you choose to go negative. We cannot help but participate in the vast conspiracy of negativity manipulating our opinions. Or can we?

I'll be back next month with more about effective writing.