Cut the Word-flab

What is wordiness? Why does it destroy reader interest? Ultimately, wordy writing is boring, annoying, and disrespectful to readers. Why? Because it wastes readers' time by making them read more words than they have to. Readers sense wordiness. They find it dispiriting. Note: You can apply these strategies with equal effectiveness to both fiction writing and business writing. We all appreciate prose that doesn't dawdle whether it's found in a novel or a newsletter. Here are seven strategies you can begin using today to avoid wordiness. Strategy #1: Rewrite. Don't expect to cure your wordiness in your first draft. Its purpose is to get your ideas down, no matter how sloppy or wordy. You can start to address wordiness in your second draft. Rewriting is my number one strategy for avoiding wordiness. What is rewriting? (Don't laugh. A lot of people don't know. A lot of people who think they know also don't know.) Rewriting is going over what you wrote with an open mind looking for ways to strengthen organization, sentence structure and word choice. A simple rewrite method: Review each sentence. See if you can express the same idea in fewer words. See if you can combine two or more sentences into one to get to the point quicker. Sound like work? It is work. To myself, I always think of it this way: It's the reason writing begins with a "w" and not an "r." The "w" stands for work. You probably know the expression, "The unexamined life isn't worth living." The unexamined sentence isn't worth reading. Strategy #2: Eliminate words and terms that are flabby. Why write "at this point in time" when you can write "now?" Why write "in my informed opinion" when you can just state your opinion. Why write "here and now" if you can delete it and keep the same meaning? Why write: "for all intents and purposes?" "above and beyond?" "free and clear?" "each and every?" "part and parcel?" "various and sundry?" or "one and only?" when you can cut those flabby expressions and write what you really want to express. Phrases like those add little meaning. They give your reader the impression of flabby writing. And what if I want to say that you personally went over "each and every entry?" My suggestion: Assert that you did that in a separate sentence. Example of flabby sentence: "The team carefully reviewed each and every one of the 1,500 entries looking for ten kinds of common mistakes." Lean sentences: The team reviewed the 1500 entries for ten kinds of common mistakes. Not one was ignored. Strategy #3: Eliminate puffery that sounds as though you enjoy reading your own words. We've all heard members of Congress speak as though they believe they're getting paid by the word: "It's come to our attention at this particular juncture in time… which makes it incumbent upon me to protest vehemently…" Speak and write as though your compensation plan is exactly the opposite: The more words you use, the less you get paid. It's a sure cure for wordy writing. Strategy #4: Focus on the "payload" of each sentence. When NASA was sending satellites around the earth, each rocket had a "payload." It was the reason why the rocket was being launched. In the same way, every sentence has a payload. It's the reason that sentence is being written. When rewriting, first determine what the payload of each sentence is. Then look for ways to deliver that payload in fewer words. Example: The main reason for the dog's aggressiveness overall was his somewhat malnourished state and the manner in which he was confined in a cage most of the time. The payload of that sentence: Explaining why the dog was aggressive. Express it in a simple sentence. Edited example: The dog was aggressive because he was hungry and confined to a cage. Strategy #5: Cut redundancy. What do the terms, "baby puppies," "completely done," "end result," "must-do requirements," "inadvertent accident," and "past history" all have in common? They are all redundancies. All puppies are babies. Just call them puppies. Either it's done or it's not done. Using the phrase "completely done" is a waste of words. All results are the same as "end results" so drop the word "end." All requirements have to be completed, so writing "must-do requirements" is a waste of words. Stategy #6: Cut vague words. They may sound important, but words like "situation," "totally," "factor," "element," "absolutely," "aspect," "type," "nature" and "kind" are often a waste. By cutting them, you can sharpen the meaning of your sentences. Wordy example: The absolutely ridiculous situation he found himself in caused him to totally rethink the kind of response he would come back with. Edited example: His ridiculous circumstance caused him to rethink his response. Strategy #7: Rewrite sentences that begin with "It is/was," "there is/are." Rewrite sentences that claim, "It can be said." Sentences that begin with "It was" or "there are" should be rewritten. Flabby: "It was between 1786 and 1793 that it can be said that The Enlightenment came into full-flower." Edited: The Enlightenment came into its own between 1786 and 1793. Next month: More on lean writing.

Write Lean

Welcome back. Gina Cole Whitlock and I were wed Sunday, May 22nd. As we stood before relatives and friends, we both said, ''I do,'' two short words that change lives. To avoid wordiness, get to the point, just as Gina and I did last Sunday. Getting to the point does not require that you get married. It requires a commitment to expressing what you have to say in as few words as possible. This month: Tips on avoiding wordiness. Note: We are honeymooning in Paris for two weeks. We arrived safely today. I am sending you this EWA from our charming apartment at No. 1 Rue St. Hyacinthe in the 2eme arrondissement (Opera Vendome). How lovely! This is not a 12-step program designed to help you kick the wordiness habit, but if it were, step #1 would be, ''Admit that you write wordy, and that it sometimes gets out of control.'' You're not alone. Everyone writes wordy prose from time to time, and experiences moments of clarity when they write the equivalent of ''I do.'' This EWA explains why you should avoid wordiness. It covers strategies you can use to break your wordiness habit. It is a habit. You can break old habits and learn to write lean and say what you mean. Why avoid wordiness? Wordiness bores readers. They quickly lose interest and stop reading when writers obscure their meaning. Don't make them muck through knee-deep prose. Effective web writing uses as few words as possible to deliver the most meaning. Search engine optimized web content, for example, is always lean and clean. It weaves together key words and terms simply and logically. Lean writing attracts readers. It is authoritative. It shows respect for your readers' time and intelligence by delivering the most meaning in the fewest words possible. It is simple and logical. It holds up to rigorous scrutiny. Why are writers wordy? 1. They want their ideas to be taken seriously so they use overblown rhetoric. Wordy example: Due to the current election laws, Republicans have become dependent on PAC money that only encourages negative campaigning and personality attacks at the expense of the public discourse on palpable issues. Democrats are emulating the dependence on PAC money as they encourage contributors and donors to give the lion's share of their donations to the PACs and reserve a much smaller percentage to actually support their candidate. The entire electoral process has become poisoned. Lean example: Today's election laws cause both parties to encourage PAC contributions over donations in direct support of candidates. PACs on both sides have used donations to air negative attack ads that have served to poison the electoral process. The wordy example editorializes by larding on adjectives, adverbs and idiomatic expressions. Words such as ''current,'' ''dependent,'' ''palpable issues,'' makes me suspicious. I trust the writer of the lean example more, don't you? 2. They want to play it safe (and avoid being original), so they use wordy clichés and mixed metaphors that dilute meaning and leave readers in the dark. Wordy example: If you want to catch a rat you have to come up with a better mousetrap. That's what the Congressional Oversight Committee found when they began to smell something fishy over at the General Services Administration, what with million-dollar meetings in Las Vegas which netted them a bountiful catch of leopards with larceny on the prowl at wild parties and lost weekends that the Las Vegas Tourist Commission had only rivaled Hangover II for seediness, and caused them to think ''What happens here, stays here.'' Well, in this case, that's not how it turned out. Lean example: Congressional Oversight began investigating the General Services Administration when unnecessary million-dollar Las Vegas meetings came to light. Summary: Avoid clichés. Say what you want your readers to know as simply as possible. Next month: More specific strategies that will help you break the wordiness habit. Until then, remember the power of ''I do.'' Strive to make your meaning as clear as Gina and I were last Sunday.